Internalised ableism
I need a rollator, and though I’ve been to my local mobility shop and tried a few out, even found the one I want, I haven’t yet taken the plunge.
The ableist attitudes pummeled into me from society and media at large since I was a kid are still getting in my way. It’s an ongoing process to try and unravel it all.
I hardly ever go out because I am afraid I won’t have somewhere to sit when I need, or I might be forced to queue and therefore become injured from my hypermobile Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome. It’s why a rollator is the perfect mobility tool for me. Support while walking. A seat when I need it. Rest on wheels, essentially. It would be a godsend.
So why am I so resistant?
The truth is I am still unpacking and working through the internalised ableism I realised ran deep in me a couple of years back.
I wasn’t always disabled. I slid into it slowly, silently.
Whilst pushing through pain from severe endometriosis and hEDS (it was decades before both diagnoses came in) and trying to keep up with able-bodied and pain-free friends, I let archaic, discriminatory societal attitudes towards disability dictate what mobility aids I ‘allowed’ myself to have.
I did extra damage to my joints and tendons in the mean time.
In January 2023, I finally took the plunge and bought a walking stick. It’s from Cool Crutches and I love the colourful rainbow design. It has changed my life for the better and helps me cope and move daily, both inside and outside the home.
Still, I’m only 37 and it’s been hard at times to work through the negative connotations or ableist thoughts I unwittingly held about mobility aids.
My kid made a perfect example of this when she said she was embarrassed of my walking stick because it’s only ‘for old people.’ That concept had seeped into her from society, not our household. It remains a bug bear of mine that Disney gives mostly its evil character walking sticks and canes. Like, why?
Anyway, those ancient ableist societal frameworks are getting in my way, too.
The reality is I need a rollator and on many days, in many locations, a mobility scooter would be such an immense godsend. With these, I’d live more, do more, cope better, feel less fatigued.
I need to build up the courage and confidence to get one for permanent ambulatory use.
For now, I hire mobility scooters where I can and honestly, it’s awesome, comfortable and brings ease to things that would otherwise be hard, or impossible. My kid loves it too and found it absolutely joyous when we raced her dad and won.
Spoiler: we won. Photo vT Features
Mobility and disability aids can fit in multiple places in your life so please consider them if you’re finding things hard.
Here are some of the items that I use daily or periodically to help me with pain and mobility.
*Shower stool.
*Walking stick.
*Hip cushion.
*Ring-pull opener tool.
*Wrists compression supports.
*Arthritis hand and thumb supports.
*Pill box.
*Wheelchair.
*Mobility scooter.
*Long pickup arm.
Do you use any of these? If not, is it worth considering?
Someone once told me they look at mobility tools like a pair of trainers. They help get you from A to B - no more, no less. There is no moral weight to disability aids. If we need them, we should use them.
It’s a freeing notion, isn’t it?
Take care,
Punteha